Saturday, July 26, 2008

Emotional Roller Coaster

There were the highs and the extreme lows. Its been a couple of pretty moody days for me.

I think I've learnt alot about myself over the past few days, but i don't know if its enough to pull me through all that has happened and whatever is to come.

I realised how much i like myself for who i am.

I realised I couldn't betray myself to be someone else in order to pursue a dream.

I realised how great a feeling it is to have people believe in you the way you believe in yourself.

I realised I don't have that person backing me, and I need to make some important decisions regarding that that could put alot of things on hold.

Someone I really admire said to me the other day “我们一起努力哦!”

我很喜欢这种感觉。
追求自己的梦想不再是一个人的事,
也应该从来都不是一个人走的路。
但有时侯,音乐的这条路还是可以很孤独的。

我不要再孤独。
就让我们一起努力哦 !
创造出一片传说。。。

不同国家也好,
不同的领域也好,
不一样的步伐也好,
不去计较输赢,
不去计较快或慢,
我还是喜欢这种一起努力向前的概念。
很温馨,很舒服。

我明天就要穿上毕业袍踏上我人身的新旅程。 虽然我感到很彷徨,很害怕,有点不知所错,力不从心,但这一步始终要踏出去。也就勇敢的跳出去吧!别想太多 !

朋友们。。。冲啊!!!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Nippon Memories

I procrastinated, and never got down to blogging about my trip of the century with the 5 othe girls. But one and a half months has passed and I find myself still chuckling to myself while looking at the pictures and wishing we were back there again.

While playing around with my new Macbook yesterday because I was sick and resting at home, I found time to create a simple tribute to these group of friends and for this chapter of my life. It took me 4 hrs... and its nothing great but has alot of HEART in it.

Sarang-Hey !

Saturday, July 19, 2008

At Kl now...

didn't have time to say bye so dropping by to say hi!

Just finished doing make up at the hotel.... leaving for the performance in another half an hour's time. I am so sleepy... I brought a zoo here with me.

Logistics is hell here in kl with unexpected traffic congestions and far away hotels.

Haven't really had time to check out the shopping, but food here hasn't been as good as expected. Service at a nice restaurant that served supposedly really good north indian food was so bad, it ruined our appetite.

I hope the performance goes well... been sick ever since finishing the 41hr marathon. The nasal voice is still stuck with me. But singing with a live band is really shiok. WOo! HOpe everything goes well... don't wanna leave KL feeling morose.

Alritey.. I'll go take care of the kids now and then its off to "Desiree's Showtime"!

She's got a really powerful voice! Really good... pity you all can't be here to listen though. Hee hee hee. ALrite. Seriously. BYe!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

41hrs of tv

Yes! I did it... I managed to last till the end and help Fei Yue get that 3k. It doesn't sound like much compared to those charity shows on tv, but every little bit counts and I'm glad I took up the challenge to find out for myself how much pain i could take.

To be honest, I got more rest than the other contestants. At the 30th hour, my ankle was swollen and I couldn't take the pain anymore, so i thought this was it. I was going to survive till the 30th hour and then walk home without having achieved the primary goal, which was to earn 3k for charity.

But the organisers were very kind, they said since I was doing this out of goodwill and not for the prize, they said they would give me more time to sit and rest my feet. I even managed to catch a short nap and then it was back to the 'square room'.

To a particular antifan:

- Who's making a big fuss? I posted two short posts on this, got a little news coverage and its idered a big fuss? A challenge is a challenge, I don't need excuses. I was asked if i wanted to do it, and i said "ok lor" without even thinking how crazy the idea was. Please don't belittle what i have done, it was by no means easy. If its of nothing to you, that's because you either think 3k is peanuts, or you think 41 hrs is easy or you just really hate me. In any case, as long as it makes you happy. I shall have no choice but to allow you to continue being anti-me. No big deal to me either. I guess i can't please the whole world... and thankew lil-ey for defending my hardwork. At least i know there are people out there who don't scoff at acts of charity and mistake them as evil motivations.
-

Its been a crazy weekend since then and I haven't really gotten that well deserved rest from the 41 hrs... surprisingly I'm still holding on pretty well! just had a really crazy nite of good food and wii fun over at my place with a whole load of great people! It was a weird combination but I'm so glad it all turned out well! Yayness Bananas!

There was a laugh-and-hide-when-watching-self-smooching-on-tv-screaming-cherry, a back-to-normal-loud-hailer-who-is-still-unwell, a armpit-airing-wii-player-cum-veteren-wash-underwear-wii-player, a sleeping-buddha-straight-face-uncle-joker, a toilet-pumping-expert-high-score-breaking-leave-his-name-all-over-my-game-boy, a lawful-humful-citizen, a bar-girl-bar-boy-couple, a kok-tao-queen, a cannot-enter-kitchen-but-want-to-try-but-always-kena-slam-jing, a slack-very-obviously-both-in-real-life-and-in-wii-ngeow, a together-always-and-forever-manqi, and a arms-hurt-even-while-typing-this-host.


Tee hee hee. Fun Fun Fun. Let's do this again, sometime soon. Maybe earlier, so we won't disturb the neighbours.


Goodnight!

To sweet dreams and more wii excitement!


Oh and look what my new Mr PROtein can do!
It has a built in camera that takes really cool pictures!


Something more normal looking to show you
the picture quality...

Friday, July 11, 2008

Stupid me

Ok, like a thousand people have said I must either be stupid or crazy to join this 41-hr marathon. A few really kind-hearted people on the other hand have told me i have an "admirable spirit" and i am very brave. Yayness.

Haha, If you don't know by now.. I will be challenging myself in an area that is all too familiar to us all. Watching tv! Come today 9pm, I will be standing within an area of 1/2 metre by 1/2 metre with only a 5 minute toilet break and 15min snack break every 6 hours till Sunday 2pm.

But then again, that is only if i manage to hang on all the way till Sunday 2pm.

If i succeed, 3000 moolah will be donated to charity.

Why only 3k?!?!?!? MORE PLEASE!!! Like 30K would be really really motivational....Standing for 41 hours is crazy you know! At least people get to lean on the cars for support during the subaru challenge!

Anyhow, do pop by to support if you can. I'll have my eyes glued to the television set at IMM level one and better still you could come down and give me a scare maybe at like 3 or 4am to make sure I stay awake.

I think it should be interesting, imagine you watching me watch teevee. Hmmm...

Oh well, if you're a fan of TVB serials, you could come down and watch teevee with me for 41 hrs also. =) That should be fun.

Bring a stool or a sofa or a bed or something.


Details in a nutshell

Date: 11th-13th July
Duration: 41 FREAKING hours
Location: IMM level 1
Activity: Watching the colour box flicker
Risk: Very high
Chances of success: Unknown




Thursday, July 10, 2008

Quickie!

赤壁 Premiere tonight at Vivo! 8pm...

41hr TVB drama watching marathon from Friday 9pm onwards till Sunday.
Click here for more details!

Ok bye.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

演艺圈 真真假假 假假真真

Today I got to know about some things which really got my blood boiling. How people can stoop so low just to 搏宣传。

I thought about it and wondered if i should blog about this. After all, perhaps I too myself might find myself in a similar position. But I'm not going to name anyone or any company in this post. I just want to blog about how i feel regarding this incident.

When i chose to enter this industry to pursue that dreamcatcher thrill, I thought of myself as selfish. I'm doing this because I LIKE to do it, even though my family might be better off not worrying for my livelihood and also the negative publicity that sometimes comes with this lifestyle.

Until recently someone told me that 人因梦想而伟大。

I liked that phrase very much.

But what i witnessed today just threw this belief that i had off-balance. 因为有时侯,人会因为梦想而变得虚伪,卑鄙,甚至失去任何道德观念。

Maybe its true, and I could be proven wrong. I'm not afraid. I want to be proven wrong. I want to believe 人因梦想而伟大 and the people who seemingly are in the same shoes as i am are people i consider 伟大。 But in this case, these two people are far from being 伟大 in my eyes....

To what extent will you go to make yourself known to the world?

Sell your voice? Sell your personality? Sell your body? Sell your soul? and lose yourself in the process?

To what extent will you go to achieve your goal of making your artiste known to the world?

Sell his voice? His personality? His past achievements? His Body? His soul?

I don't want to go down this road. What you have done is so stupid. Both of you.


新加坡版陈冠希??!

Seriously??! Edison never wanted his pictures out there, you on the other hand would rather the whole world know about it which is plain ridiculous.

As an artiste, the most basic thing you should do, is RESPECT yourself. If people don't respect you, then go on your way and believe in yourself instead of selling yourself cheap.

I really don't want to go down this road.

I think at the end of the day... although i really really truly very much want to be a successful singer with a good track record. I won't sell myself for this dream...

我不想因梦想而迷失自己,
如果我不能当歌手,
不能当艺人,
我还是要当一个因梦想而伟大的伟人。

I do hope the Singapore audience have 明亮的眼睛, instead of just believing what they see or hear... because in this 娱乐圈 the lies and truths are 混淆 together and its up to you to choose the worthy ones from the unworthy ones.

I think I've said enough, and i do feel better now.

At least i know i sleep in peace tonight.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

SHIOK SIAH!

Yesterday's performance was such a blast! Hello stage! I'm standing on you again! Hello everyone! I'm so happy that all of you are here for me to sing to you! HappyJellyBeans! It felt so nice being back on stage and singing...

It was even nicer sharing the stage with Yunying.. I remember the times when Yunying was in Superhost. We'd dream about sharing the same big stage where she would be the host and I would be the performer...yesterday we shared a small stage. But that's one step closer to that dream now!

Thank you Ivon, Joyce, and Xueting for rushing down from Sentosa, thank you JQ for sending Amanda, thank you Amanda for carrying out your duty so faithfully... haha! And thank you to the enthusiastic bunch at level 1 (happy birthday once more!) and the super energetic girls on level 3 and another group of badminton players on level 2... Haha.. I enjoyed performing for all of you!

Here's a video of the performance yesterday... kudos to Xueting for her effort of taking the video and uploading it onto Youtube super efficiently! =) Thankew...

p.s dun forget to shut off the music at imeem if you wanna watch the video!

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Carpentry

I had a great day today, all thanks to two hunks who accompanied me for dinner and then furniture shopping followed by furniture assembling!!!

It was fun!!! And I am so glad i had the two of you with me...

And then funny bitchy supper with the hunks and two wholesome babes. Hehehehehe!

I had a fulfilling day, and i ended it off by skipping 300 times. It feels good to sweat and get some exercise.. I think I'll sleep really well tonight(if that bloody mosquito will stop quenching his thirst on my face!).

I'm so going to blog more about cupboard building, photo taking and just plain hanging out after a day's work. But I'm so so so so sleepy now...... should i go to sentosa tomorrow or not?

Anyway, hope to see you peeps at Causeway point tomorrow!

Goodnight!


p.s. Ah yee, i think Desiree has a showcase as well. different from kelly's...=) Study hard for your exam first ba.


-05 July 2008- carpentry post continued..


Yeehah! I woke up today feeling pretty good about my room because of the new addition to the messy family. And then i spent the entire day till now packing my room but it still looks messy!!!! That just means that my room is in a un-salvagable state. Nevertheless, I am still happy belly about having a nice sturdy cupboard for the tons of clothes that we have!

The Carpenters!

Nat doing most of the hammering and fixing...

while Jay is contended just goofing around...

Behold! The final product! So neat rite??


I'm now sipping aromatic hot tea that i just brewed, and life couldn't be better! Time to myself... somewhat neater room...music in the background... dressed in slacks... comfy to the max.

But i have to get ready for the performance later in like...15 minutes. So that would mean out of slacks, clothes strewn all over and messier room yet again.

Just got a msg from a particular someone saying that she'll rush down for the performance from Sentosa. Shweeeet. =)

I know I'm completely running around with diff topics in my previous few posts! That's because too many things have been happening and I'm too SLOW at the updating bit so I'm just throwing you bits and pieces here and there! But this i must SHARE!!!

My brother Phinehas brilliant intelligent talented Tan got married to a BEAUTIFUL lady by the name of Sulinn two weeks back!!! And here are the pictures so nicely taken and put together by my bro's friend Joey!

Enjoy!!!

madrushmadrushmadrushmadrushmadrushnow.byebyebyebyebyebye.seeyouseeyouseeyou.lalalala.





Thursday, July 03, 2008

GoldfishTAN

I have the worst memory for dates EVER. I can NEVER remember numbers which basically means i can't remember phone numbers, birthdates, appointments and almost everything else since our world is made up of digits. I hate that.

I wanna be that sensitive and thoughtful friend who drops you a message the moment the clock strikes twelve on your birthday. I wanna be able to remember things that happen on special dates. I wanna be the friend who gets you a present a week before your birthday and gives you a surprise on your special day... but I'm so not. BAH!

My friends should just HOUND me when their birthday's are approaching. Like drop me messages that say "My birthday is approaching in exactly two weeks time." or "It's time to get me a present cuz my birthday's just around the corner!" Or even better.. "Pay me $xx for xx present which i got for myself on behalf of you for my birthday." Haha...

Point is. I missed Nanaho's birthday. I am such a klutz. Klutz. Klutz. Klutz.

Sorry Nana, You know me. I am Goldfish Tan. But I hope you had a great blessed birthday.. you've been faithfully checking up on me, asking me if i have any prayer requests and making sure I'm ok. I guess the least I could do was to remember your birthday?

You know me la. I am Goldfish Tan.



HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NANAHO!



Wednesday, July 02, 2008

EventsGalore!

Yayness! Things seem to be getting busier for me... and i like that. =) Life feels very fulfilling when there are always things to do! Although it does get a little busy la...

This saturday i will be singing two songs at a Causeway Point event at about 6.30pm? So do come down if you can and I'd love to see you guys there!

Will be going down to KL for a performance on the 19th as well...i'll be guest performing at a mini concert by Desiree, Kelly Poon's malaysian equivalent.(Malaysia Superstar 1 Female Champion) It seems like its been a long hiatus since my last performance and my vocal chords are getting rusty. Not as confident when i open my mouth now... I gotta start singing more and getting those muscles warmed up. =)

Working hard now to make my dreams come true! And it seems things are looking good... but i shan't tell you guys too much now until its more or less confirmed. *wink*

Gotta bring mummy to the chinese doctor and then its YUMMYLICIOUS dinner with the cousins and Carrie at Bather's! Yummy Foie Gras here i come!

P.S after all that talk about getting a macbook and deciding between black and white...I might be getting a macbook pro after all! If getting a macbook meant burning a hole in my pockets, getting a macbook PRO basically means burning off all my clothes. But I can't wait!