Manhand - 漫游世界
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Forever Fever my Mother and Father
I remember asking my mum how is it that two such different people could stay together. One who nagged and fret and worried over every little household issue and the other who hardly said a word and often shrugged off the same issues the other felt worth creating wrinkles over.
I hear the same stories over and over again, how my mum spent nights crying the pillow wet in sadness and tiredness, how she often felt that my Dad wasn't home enough but she had to be understanding knowing he had work and had a devout commitment to church activities as well. She was angry and upset but she kept it together, no matter how difficult it was.
She would pick fights, and she would show her unhappiness, but she never once mentioned the word "divorce", no matter how unhappy and how bleak things seemed, because she remembered the vows that they made at the altar, and how he had taken care of her younger siblings when he was at her house. Back then, she had known that he would be a good father, a good husband.
My dad on the other hand, kept his optimism, never broke into a frown, and more than often hardly uttered an extra word. He just listened and let my mother rant, sometimes breaking into a chuckle (which would exasperate her more) at certain sweeping statements that she might throw out in anger. He too, never mentioned the word "divorce", no matter how tired his ear drums might be, how much he wanted to hit the sacks after a full day's work and worship practices in church. He never blew his top, or ever hinted at wanting a "divorce".
My mum always says that alot of effort went into making the marriage work. And had there been one incident where any of them had mentioned getting a "divorce", in the spur of the moment... things might have been different.
I've always wondered, how is it my mum can go on non-stop even when my Dad hardly gives a proper verbal response. After that thought, I move on to marvel at how my Dad can keep listening to the same stories with a slight smile and not a tinge of impatience for so many years. If you separate the two, you'd think my mum talks too much, and my Dad is too quiet.
Truth is, my mum likes to read, and ponder about things in silence.
And my dad loves a crowd and a bottle of wine, laughing heartily and throwing out silly remarks and jokes.
How they come together to form this weird team of tag I don't know. But I know this is a team, that is set to run the long race together forever, not without commitment, not without a dogged pursuit to provide a conducive environment for me and my brother, and not without amazing effort, tears, and the occasional gritting of teeth.
Why are there so many divorce cases these days? I'm nobody to judge, because there can be so many issues that present itself unsolvable, and times have changed so much and people now have so many choices and so many different means to ends. Its a new world, a changed world with advanced mindsets.
Maybe I'm too slow, or I'm too simple, or in nastier terms, I'm too naive and stupid. But I think the same rules apply, to keep two in unity. Whether its marriage, a partnership or just besties. There's bound to be the ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups, but ... 朋友也没有永远要好... each will have their respective periods of negativity, discomfort or just suddenly no longer finding that person interesting. In our time of "Live like there's no tomorrow" we make our decisions on the spot.
Ok, discomfort. NEXT!
Uh, this doesn't make me feel good. NEXT!
Hey, this is fun. GO!
Shucks, this person's getting on my nerves. NEXT!
But there is a tomorrow, isn't it?
Is it about sprinting, or about the long race?
It took my parents years to get to this stage, where they know now that this is the person who can take all my shit and nonsense for the rest of the journey having already gone through so much of my nonsense and being there for me during the worst chapters of my life.
These days, we don't count the years anymore. We count the days.
We keep believing 2012 is the end. Or that planning ahead makes no sense since end days are probably, PROBABLY in our generation. (I'm not sure about you, but often I think that I probably won't live to see my grandchildren, so what's the point?)
I guess, the best way... to is to plan the years and the lifetime you have gifted to you because each and everyone of us were made unique and different from each other for a purpose. NO matter how small or big, a purpose to live is a purpose to live. You have a reason for being here today, and you have to find out. Live your life with a VISION of the future, but live each day to the fullest as well.
I suppose. I suppose, that is the best way to live. For Christians and non-Christians alike.
It really isn't easy. But I'm in this for the FOREVER.
FOR EVERything, good and bad.
If two people like my parents made it work.
I don't see why we can't.
Simple, stupid, naive, you name it, I've got it.
:P
Oh, and lots of love. Lots and lots of love.
Please grant me a big heart, a bigger heart, a double portion of a big heart.
And if possible, less tears?
Thanks.
Oh and happy days. Oh Happy days. :)))
Oh ok, since I'm in the greedy mood, wisdom to unlock knowledge, to see and feel, to hear and understand, to empathise, to believe, to persist, to fight, to be patient, to be generous, to be abundant.
And.... to sleep like a child.
(food for thought: Why is it that when people sleep at abnormal timings, we say they sleep at 'ungodly hours'? I mean, really. I don't think God needs to sleep. So what's so ungodly about that hour? Just wondering.)
I remember asking my mum how is it that two such different people could stay together. One who nagged and fret and worried over every little household issue and the other who hardly said a word and often shrugged off the same issues the other felt worth creating wrinkles over.
I hear the same stories over and over again, how my mum spent nights crying the pillow wet in sadness and tiredness, how she often felt that my Dad wasn't home enough but she had to be understanding knowing he had work and had a devout commitment to church activities as well. She was angry and upset but she kept it together, no matter how difficult it was.
She would pick fights, and she would show her unhappiness, but she never once mentioned the word "divorce", no matter how unhappy and how bleak things seemed, because she remembered the vows that they made at the altar, and how he had taken care of her younger siblings when he was at her house. Back then, she had known that he would be a good father, a good husband.
My dad on the other hand, kept his optimism, never broke into a frown, and more than often hardly uttered an extra word. He just listened and let my mother rant, sometimes breaking into a chuckle (which would exasperate her more) at certain sweeping statements that she might throw out in anger. He too, never mentioned the word "divorce", no matter how tired his ear drums might be, how much he wanted to hit the sacks after a full day's work and worship practices in church. He never blew his top, or ever hinted at wanting a "divorce".
My mum always says that alot of effort went into making the marriage work. And had there been one incident where any of them had mentioned getting a "divorce", in the spur of the moment... things might have been different.
I've always wondered, how is it my mum can go on non-stop even when my Dad hardly gives a proper verbal response. After that thought, I move on to marvel at how my Dad can keep listening to the same stories with a slight smile and not a tinge of impatience for so many years. If you separate the two, you'd think my mum talks too much, and my Dad is too quiet.
Truth is, my mum likes to read, and ponder about things in silence.
And my dad loves a crowd and a bottle of wine, laughing heartily and throwing out silly remarks and jokes.
How they come together to form this weird team of tag I don't know. But I know this is a team, that is set to run the long race together forever, not without commitment, not without a dogged pursuit to provide a conducive environment for me and my brother, and not without amazing effort, tears, and the occasional gritting of teeth.
Why are there so many divorce cases these days? I'm nobody to judge, because there can be so many issues that present itself unsolvable, and times have changed so much and people now have so many choices and so many different means to ends. Its a new world, a changed world with advanced mindsets.
Maybe I'm too slow, or I'm too simple, or in nastier terms, I'm too naive and stupid. But I think the same rules apply, to keep two in unity. Whether its marriage, a partnership or just besties. There's bound to be the ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups, but ... 朋友也没有永远要好... each will have their respective periods of negativity, discomfort or just suddenly no longer finding that person interesting. In our time of "Live like there's no tomorrow" we make our decisions on the spot.
Ok, discomfort. NEXT!
Uh, this doesn't make me feel good. NEXT!
Hey, this is fun. GO!
Shucks, this person's getting on my nerves. NEXT!
But there is a tomorrow, isn't it?
Is it about sprinting, or about the long race?
It took my parents years to get to this stage, where they know now that this is the person who can take all my shit and nonsense for the rest of the journey having already gone through so much of my nonsense and being there for me during the worst chapters of my life.
These days, we don't count the years anymore. We count the days.
We keep believing 2012 is the end. Or that planning ahead makes no sense since end days are probably, PROBABLY in our generation. (I'm not sure about you, but often I think that I probably won't live to see my grandchildren, so what's the point?)
But it says in the bible :
1 Thessalonians 5:1
"Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. "
"Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. "
Acts 1:7
"He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority."
"He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority."
Revelation 16:15
"Behold, I come like a thief! Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed."
"Behold, I come like a thief! Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed."
I guess, the best way... to is to plan the years and the lifetime you have gifted to you because each and everyone of us were made unique and different from each other for a purpose. NO matter how small or big, a purpose to live is a purpose to live. You have a reason for being here today, and you have to find out. Live your life with a VISION of the future, but live each day to the fullest as well.
I suppose. I suppose, that is the best way to live. For Christians and non-Christians alike.
It really isn't easy. But I'm in this for the FOREVER.
FOR EVERything, good and bad.
If two people like my parents made it work.
I don't see why we can't.
Simple, stupid, naive, you name it, I've got it.
:P
Oh, and lots of love. Lots and lots of love.
Please grant me a big heart, a bigger heart, a double portion of a big heart.
And if possible, less tears?
Thanks.
Oh and happy days. Oh Happy days. :)))
Oh ok, since I'm in the greedy mood, wisdom to unlock knowledge, to see and feel, to hear and understand, to empathise, to believe, to persist, to fight, to be patient, to be generous, to be abundant.
And.... to sleep like a child.
(food for thought: Why is it that when people sleep at abnormal timings, we say they sleep at 'ungodly hours'? I mean, really. I don't think God needs to sleep. So what's so ungodly about that hour? Just wondering.)
Twinkling of rain.
It was raining, while the sun kept shining.
And it was ok, they co-existed fine. It was beautiful.And last night, I wrote a song.
A song I still don't have words for.
I've been feeling stupid.
No can do.
Wanna walk in the rain, in the sun...
hap-hazard thoughts,
messy but the same.
Same thoughts, same tunes, same pain.
but the sun can shine, while the rain falls...
so the smile shouldn't fade and the tears shouldn't stop.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
天气变化得太快，身体快复合不来...
白天黑夜交换得太静，我疲惫得身影跟不上...
走在家外面得路灯下，影子好像呼吸，拉长着夜晚...
一个接一个，不见了又浮现...
我有话想说，但头脑和嘴巴八字不和...
I'm really not so good at thinking, but I'm really good at feeling.
And it feels so empty now.
Dug myself a hole too big I guess.
Too much space I can hear the echoes of my sniffles.
The air is too cold and too damp, my nose isn't liking it here.
Need a flu tab for everything.
白天黑夜交换得太静，我疲惫得身影跟不上...
走在家外面得路灯下，影子好像呼吸，拉长着夜晚...
一个接一个，不见了又浮现...
我有话想说，但头脑和嘴巴八字不和...
I'm really not so good at thinking, but I'm really good at feeling.
And it feels so empty now.
Dug myself a hole too big I guess.
Too much space I can hear the echoes of my sniffles.
The air is too cold and too damp, my nose isn't liking it here.
Need a flu tab for everything.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
好想挥霍
想要不顾一切，想要逃离这一切，到一个没有顾虑，没有压力，没有责任，没有良心的地方去。
想想罢了，好想挥霍，但我还能怎样呢？
谁来救我。
我穿戴整齊面對瘋狂的世界
chanced upon this. Powerful powerful stuff from her...
想要不顾一切，想要逃离这一切，到一个没有顾虑，没有压力，没有责任，没有良心的地方去。
想想罢了，好想挥霍，但我还能怎样呢？
谁来救我。
我穿戴整齊面對瘋狂的世界
不管今天面對誰 微笑是必須
就算你不在意
我微笑的原因
是我僅有的自信
我慌亂面對你轉身離開
不管未來快樂是不是 我的必需品
我只能再一次
安靜做好準備
你下一次出現
總在午夜夢醒 家徒四壁
是什麼包圍空虛
好想把我的全部都給你
一個人多平凡的期許
總在人潮散去 瞬間覺醒
全身力氣得不到安寧
從不曾揮霍
好想要揮霍
好讓明天繼續
這是貓咪做給巧貓的唷
我慌亂面對你轉身離開
不管未來快樂是不是 我的必需品
也許早已否定
我所有的努力
愛已不會降臨
Baby~~午夜夢醒 家徒四壁
是什麼包圍空虛
好想把我的全部都給你
一個人多平凡的期許
總在人潮散去 瞬間覺醒
全身力氣得不到安寧
從不曾揮霍
好想要揮霍
好讓明天繼續
我要的生活只有那麼一種
卻無法一個人點滴的過
直到今天還不能放開昨天的手
誰來救我
午夜夢醒 家徒四壁
再沒有什麼包圍空虛
好想把我的全部都給你
兩個人彼此間的必須
總在人潮散去 瞬間覺醒
全身力氣得不到片刻安寧
從不曾揮霍
好想要揮霍
好讓快樂繼續
從不曾揮霍
好想要揮霍
沒有什麼是必須
chanced upon this. Powerful powerful stuff from her...
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Weird Dreams great while they lasted.
My dreams are moving further away from reality, and vice versa. The contrast is getting so wide, and the divide so deep that I feel myself slowly sinking away as though I'm walking in quicksand. I'm moving forward, but slowly I'm disappearing into the pile of goo.
Woke up feeling really weak today, but the mind and the heart have been struggling to stay afloat amongst everything. Really tired from being positive, but the positivity cannot stop because mopping will get me nowhere.
今天觉得自己特别的无助，只是想呐喊，但又没力气大喊出心里的恐慌和无奈。
但和我不一样，却也无助，无奈的人很多，大家都在努力着生活。
所以，不能堕落太久，因为你尽管再堕落，再没力量，你也还是能够看到那一丝曙光。
至少我还有健康，还有亲情，好有友情，再残酷的事实，我也得学会努力去面对。
没钱，没事业也好，不能迷失了自己。
来吧。
My dreams are moving further away from reality, and vice versa. The contrast is getting so wide, and the divide so deep that I feel myself slowly sinking away as though I'm walking in quicksand. I'm moving forward, but slowly I'm disappearing into the pile of goo.
Woke up feeling really weak today, but the mind and the heart have been struggling to stay afloat amongst everything. Really tired from being positive, but the positivity cannot stop because mopping will get me nowhere.
今天觉得自己特别的无助，只是想呐喊，但又没力气大喊出心里的恐慌和无奈。
但和我不一样，却也无助，无奈的人很多，大家都在努力着生活。
所以，不能堕落太久，因为你尽管再堕落，再没力量，你也还是能够看到那一丝曙光。
至少我还有健康，还有亲情，好有友情，再残酷的事实，我也得学会努力去面对。
没钱，没事业也好，不能迷失了自己。
来吧。
Monday, November 15, 2010
Hand in Hand (even if you don't realise it.)
Certain events and people represent to us more than just dreams and the reflection of a beautiful life to come if only we all carried the same truths that were sung in the songs in our hearts.
These same events and people, can also to some represent just a job that needs to be done, another hurdle that needs to be crossed and with no delay.
In a world where time is money, and the dreamers are the real you's, who has the final say? And who's to blame? Or who has to be considerate to the other?
The dreams have to exist. The jobs have to be carried out. More often than not, the dreamers rely on the task-oriented people to have their dreams pushed out into the open. But many a times, the task-oriented people would not have tasks to orientate themselves with if not for the dreamers that gave up food and water to bring an untarnished note and a heart full of song to the audience out there all thirsting for an escape away from this urban jungle.
No one is dispensable, and no one is indispensable.
The world won't crumble without you,
but if you don't hold my hand, the world isn't going to get any better.
Certain events and people represent to us more than just dreams and the reflection of a beautiful life to come if only we all carried the same truths that were sung in the songs in our hearts.
These same events and people, can also to some represent just a job that needs to be done, another hurdle that needs to be crossed and with no delay.
In a world where time is money, and the dreamers are the real you's, who has the final say? And who's to blame? Or who has to be considerate to the other?
The dreams have to exist. The jobs have to be carried out. More often than not, the dreamers rely on the task-oriented people to have their dreams pushed out into the open. But many a times, the task-oriented people would not have tasks to orientate themselves with if not for the dreamers that gave up food and water to bring an untarnished note and a heart full of song to the audience out there all thirsting for an escape away from this urban jungle.
No one is dispensable, and no one is indispensable.
The world won't crumble without you,
but if you don't hold my hand, the world isn't going to get any better.
一个人失眠
有心事睡不着的坏毛病，我不想要有。
能安心入眠好幸福，我也好想这样。
头脑停止转动，心中的呐喊慢慢变小...
就这么简单，没有什么洒脱，不是我不再在乎，不是我想放弃，
只是想要也给自己一个能够不去管他三七二十一的机会。
因为一个人失眠的夜好孤独，好脆弱。
这种情况不能太常发生，否则这样的一个状态可能会延伸到白天里去。
到时后，我会更讨厌自己。
Often times like this, only we can help ourselves, because only we know ourselves, and really no one else is to be blame, because only we can do the things that need to be done. Gdnite.
This is one lesson I can never seem to learn. I never take words cheaply, and I never dish them out easily, that's often my worst characteristic because I'm stingy with praises and promises. Just trying to love my neighbour as myself, because I myself don't have the confidence that I'll be able to deliver, and so I manage expectations. I know that at the end of the day, I'll either deliver what I promise, or surprise the receptors with more. Have always been like that. Would always come home telling my mother about all the questions in the test that I felt were tricky and that I had no confidence I had got them right. She'd either be prepared for low marks or be pleasantly surprised with my higher-than-expectation-grades. I've always been a scaredy cat I suppose. The human mind is one that is so difficult to infiltrate and yet so easy to manipulate. And expectations will be the bane of us all. Second to nothing but memories. Hur hur. I feel a sequel coming. Goodnight. oh yay. More paragraphs.
有心事睡不着的坏毛病，我不想要有。
能安心入眠好幸福，我也好想这样。
头脑停止转动，心中的呐喊慢慢变小...
就这么简单，没有什么洒脱，不是我不再在乎，不是我想放弃，
只是想要也给自己一个能够不去管他三七二十一的机会。
因为一个人失眠的夜好孤独，好脆弱。
这种情况不能太常发生，否则这样的一个状态可能会延伸到白天里去。
到时后，我会更讨厌自己。
Often times like this, only we can help ourselves, because only we know ourselves, and really no one else is to be blame, because only we can do the things that need to be done. Gdnite.
This is one lesson I can never seem to learn. I never take words cheaply, and I never dish them out easily, that's often my worst characteristic because I'm stingy with praises and promises. Just trying to love my neighbour as myself, because I myself don't have the confidence that I'll be able to deliver, and so I manage expectations. I know that at the end of the day, I'll either deliver what I promise, or surprise the receptors with more. Have always been like that. Would always come home telling my mother about all the questions in the test that I felt were tricky and that I had no confidence I had got them right. She'd either be prepared for low marks or be pleasantly surprised with my higher-than-expectation-grades. I've always been a scaredy cat I suppose. The human mind is one that is so difficult to infiltrate and yet so easy to manipulate. And expectations will be the bane of us all. Second to nothing but memories. Hur hur. I feel a sequel coming. Goodnight. oh yay. More paragraphs.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
You're safe in his hands. I can feel it. And so I drink.
Could it be I'm too naive to think that a simple conversation could mend all cracks?
But I don't expect it to mend or fill up any voids.
I just wanted to break down those invisible walls.
A long while back, when I couldn't rationalise it in my head, I realised God gave us time on earth to make amends, to learn, to forget. And I expect, its not too naive of me to think that time indeed covered up alot of our tracks and cracks.
It wasn't because I was drunk.
It was because its been always on my mind and I knew alcohol was a good excuse to me being stupid and would be the soft cushion that I could fall upon if I had hot tea poured on my head instead. At least I wouldn't feel the pain. The alcohol would have numbed it.
Am thankful tea was not poured upon my head.
If all wedding's made me feel like this, I'm pretty sure I'd turn an alcoholic.
May the Lord's favour shine upon the two of you.
Congratulations Karen and Jiabiao :)
屋顶的天空是我们的
放学后夕阳也都会是我们的
不会再....更多了
唱一首属于我们的歌
让我们的伤都慢慢慢的愈合
明天我又会是全新的 OH~HO
青春是手牵手坐上了
都不回头的火车
总有一天我们都老了
不会遗憾就OK了
伤心的都忘记了
只记得这首笑忘歌
那一片天空很高风很清澈
从头到脚趾都快乐
我和你都约好了
要再唱这首笑忘歌
这一生只愿只要平凡快乐
谁说这样不伟大呢
自己和自己打一架了
想都想不通反正就是这样了
不会再流泪更多了
有多少错误重蹈覆辙
有多少苦痛还不是都过来了
想起来甚至还会笑呢 OH~HO
青春是人生的实验课
错也错得很值得
就算某天唱起这首歌
眼眶会有一点湿了
Could it be I'm too naive to think that a simple conversation could mend all cracks?
But I don't expect it to mend or fill up any voids.
I just wanted to break down those invisible walls.
A long while back, when I couldn't rationalise it in my head, I realised God gave us time on earth to make amends, to learn, to forget. And I expect, its not too naive of me to think that time indeed covered up alot of our tracks and cracks.
It wasn't because I was drunk.
It was because its been always on my mind and I knew alcohol was a good excuse to me being stupid and would be the soft cushion that I could fall upon if I had hot tea poured on my head instead. At least I wouldn't feel the pain. The alcohol would have numbed it.
Am thankful tea was not poured upon my head.
If all wedding's made me feel like this, I'm pretty sure I'd turn an alcoholic.
May the Lord's favour shine upon the two of you.
Congratulations Karen and Jiabiao :)
屋顶的天空是我们的
放学后夕阳也都会是我们的
不会再....更多了
唱一首属于我们的歌
让我们的伤都慢慢慢的愈合
明天我又会是全新的 OH~HO
青春是手牵手坐上了
都不回头的火车
总有一天我们都老了
不会遗憾就OK了
伤心的都忘记了
只记得这首笑忘歌
那一片天空很高风很清澈
从头到脚趾都快乐
我和你都约好了
要再唱这首笑忘歌
这一生只愿只要平凡快乐
谁说这样不伟大呢
自己和自己打一架了
想都想不通反正就是这样了
不会再流泪更多了
有多少错误重蹈覆辙
有多少苦痛还不是都过来了
想起来甚至还会笑呢 OH~HO
青春是人生的实验课
错也错得很值得
就算某天唱起这首歌
眼眶会有一点湿了
Friday, November 12, 2010
The haunted mansion
(picture taken from http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2009/11/marleys-ghost-mankind-was-my-business.html)
I took a ginger step back into the haunting memories of the past once again, knowing I might come out frightened, shaking but perhaps trembling with excitement at my new-found courage. Its like the ghosts of Christmas, coming back to remind of the past, the present and a future to come.
Bittersweet, with a tinge of regret, and still a bottle full of skeptism and pride but with the hope that all is not lost, and that there is always time to realise and recognise and repent. That is the spirit of Christmas, of the grace of his love, of giving.
The miser scrooge, who hardened his heart and his shell in a bid to protect himself. Becoming cut away from the pains and the simple joys of the common man. Scoffing at the silly antics the poor, believing in himself that a bag full of gold meant he was rich when in truth, he was the poorest of all.
I don't want to be Mr Scrooge.
And so, taking that jog through the haunted mansion was my first step to opening up the chocked vessels of my hardened thoughts and heart. Its a small step, but at least I took it.
The Christmas cheer isn't about commercial exploits, or about delicious-creamy-aromatic toffee nut latte(ok it does make me look forward to Christmas even more!) Its about love, about the joy of giving, about the giving of his one and only beloved son for us so that we may have time, time to realise, to recognise and to repent. One Christmas will pass, but another will come along.
How many Christmas's do we have till we learn to gather around the fire in the freezing cold of the world, and give up the glove on our hands to the brother next to us in love and in gratitude to the one who gave us life?
I love Christmas.
And I'm learning to love the haunted mansion... the past, the present and the future.
I'm so going to rewatch "The Christmas Carol" this christmas. Its not the usual feel good hee-hee-ha-ha movie, but its a good movie that you'll thank the blinking stars you got to watch. :)
As little children we'd dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
We are the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
As the years went by we learned more of our gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
Because of love
Because of love
*Chorus
I finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him)
And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying)
I will give all my life just for Him, just for Him (every thing for Him)
We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give (all that he could give all)
To show us the reason to live
(picture taken from http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2009/11/marleys-ghost-mankind-was-my-business.html)I took a ginger step back into the haunting memories of the past once again, knowing I might come out frightened, shaking but perhaps trembling with excitement at my new-found courage. Its like the ghosts of Christmas, coming back to remind of the past, the present and a future to come.
Bittersweet, with a tinge of regret, and still a bottle full of skeptism and pride but with the hope that all is not lost, and that there is always time to realise and recognise and repent. That is the spirit of Christmas, of the grace of his love, of giving.
The miser scrooge, who hardened his heart and his shell in a bid to protect himself. Becoming cut away from the pains and the simple joys of the common man. Scoffing at the silly antics the poor, believing in himself that a bag full of gold meant he was rich when in truth, he was the poorest of all.
I don't want to be Mr Scrooge.
And so, taking that jog through the haunted mansion was my first step to opening up the chocked vessels of my hardened thoughts and heart. Its a small step, but at least I took it.
The Christmas cheer isn't about commercial exploits, or about delicious-creamy-aromatic toffee nut latte(ok it does make me look forward to Christmas even more!) Its about love, about the joy of giving, about the giving of his one and only beloved son for us so that we may have time, time to realise, to recognise and to repent. One Christmas will pass, but another will come along.
How many Christmas's do we have till we learn to gather around the fire in the freezing cold of the world, and give up the glove on our hands to the brother next to us in love and in gratitude to the one who gave us life?
I love Christmas.
And I'm learning to love the haunted mansion... the past, the present and the future.
I'm so going to rewatch "The Christmas Carol" this christmas. Its not the usual feel good hee-hee-ha-ha movie, but its a good movie that you'll thank the blinking stars you got to watch. :)
As little children we'd dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
We are the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
As the years went by we learned more of our gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
Because of love
Because of love
*Chorus
I finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him)
And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying)
I will give all my life just for Him, just for Him (every thing for Him)
We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give (all that he could give all)
To show us the reason to live
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Murphy's law
Plans to save money always get thwarted.
I only wished for a $5.50 tasty toast set at coffee bean, and ended up with a $8.10 scrambled salmon set all because it was a one-for-one breakfast offer. Which means, if I buy the scrambled set, I get another set free, only being charged for the set with the higher value.
Why like this??
I want to save money, and I want to lose weight.
Murphy's law indeed. Big sigh.
I'm so full, I'm feeling like a walking 面包...
Plans to save money always get thwarted.
I only wished for a $5.50 tasty toast set at coffee bean, and ended up with a $8.10 scrambled salmon set all because it was a one-for-one breakfast offer. Which means, if I buy the scrambled set, I get another set free, only being charged for the set with the higher value.
Why like this??
I want to save money, and I want to lose weight.
Murphy's law indeed. Big sigh.
I'm so full, I'm feeling like a walking 面包...
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
NTU campus concert in 2 days. NYP in 6 days.
But what I really want to blog about, is the old man I met in the MRT two days ago.
For more information on the NTU campus concert, you can click here though. :)
And if you're a first-timer here on this blog, and you have no idea what's going on, they summary is that I joined a singing competition, did pretty well in it, chased waterfalls for 2 years and finally with a bestie I befriended during the said competition are now the front(wo)man of a chinese pop group called "the freshman" and have released an album that we hope the world will take to in the way that sugar is to ants. And for more information, please click here.
Its a 100% local album. And I could go on and on self-praising it and telling you support our music and us because that's all we hope for now but... we'll let the music speak for itself for now.
Ok. now that I've got that out of the way, and (i think) I did justice to the human traffic which I also dearly hope to have on our official blog, and the awareness that I hope to bring about for our events, I can now blog about the so-called inconsequential stuff. *phew* Heh. Ready?
I wanted to blog on the official blog, but the rate of my mental laxating would mean that blog posts would keep getting refreshed, and the readers might not see the informative stuff. Well, anyway, its got to give things some space. Oh crap, i'm still rambling and haven't got down to talking about the old uncle.
Well, the story begins with me raising up my head in to a minor commotion that was going on between a lady and a kind-looking old man with a head full of white hair. The lady was suggesting that the old uncle ask me to give up my seat to him. I was aware that my ass was warming the reserved seat and so when I saw the old uncle, I jumped up from my seat in embarrassment apologising profusely for not having noticed him.
"If you give up your seat for me. I will be very sad. It means you think I'm old."
Hello Uncle, but you are old.
"Nono, you are not old, but you are just older. *wide grin*"
"Then why didn't you offer the seat to THAT uncle? *points to a scrawnier looking uncle with equal amount of white fur standing about 2 metres away.*"
Have no answer to that, more embarrassment and guilt, and by now, because of how booming the uncle's voice was, the whole carriage was looking at... not me. But the scrawny old uncle with the equal amount of whites.
I'm sorry, that's not the 重点, i just like to tell stories with narration. I feel it gives a more personal angle to the story.
We started talking, me and the uncle about anything under the sky. He asked me if I was studying, and I said no, and yes, I was working but my work doesn't really pay like a normal job. He asked what I did, and I told him I was a singer, a struggling one but that I enjoyed what I did because I wasn't sure where it would lead but it felt like it might go somewhere.
He asked if I sang on radio stations, and I said no, but we do have an album and our songs do play on the airwaves. He was very kind and said he would keep a lookout for the freshman.
Then he started to talk about how thankful he was for the mrt, that he had been having lunch at the novena foodcourt which has so much variety, and was heading for his appointment at SGH at 3.15pm. He spoke about the mrt, how it made everything so much easier for him and how things would have been different if it wasn't for his friend who pushed through with his proposal to build the mrt system here.
His friend?
He studied in The Chinese High and it was there he had a friend, who grew up and entered a university and became a high flying scholar who was the key figure behind kick starting the mrt project. He spoke about how he himself had been for a poor family, and they couldn't afford to send him to a university, but this friend of his, was a smart chap and did good with uni. He spoke about his friend without a hint of jealousy, but was full of gratitude and praise. (Do you think his friend is the late President Ong Teng Cheong? I didn't get a chance to ask.)
It didn't occur to me then and there, holding on the railing for my life with all my barang barang talking to this chatty old man. But after saying goodbye and telling him to take care, while going up the escalator, I felt so contented. I had learnt so much from just 5 minutes of conversation with a guy in white hair.
His heart of thanks, his independence, his cheerful disposition, and even his love for his wife. He used to stay at Clover place, just a few streets away from my house. It was a nice landed house, but he sold it and moved to Bishan Street 22 because its nearer to the market and his wife has weak legs.
The way he spoke about lunch at Novena, the way he spoke about the mrt, the way he spoke about getting to his appointment at SGH, and how his cornea needed to be operated upon but that it was common amongst old people like him (tot you not old??? :p)
It was a lovely 5 minutes.
And I don't want to forget that moment on the escalator that I felt my eyes grew a little brighter.
Like the way a cup of hot chocolate fills your insides slowly and casually. It wasn't an epiphany of any sort. It wasn't Eureka. It was just, simple joy for the old man who stayed above it all. Who lived with grace, and with a zest for life and the things life presents that many of us cannot even claim to match up to.
It was lovely.
As though I had been sitting at a cafe at some cool European beach, sipping tea and listening to him tell me about the seagulls and the waves. Mundane, but pleasing and enough to make me feel that everything is beautiful and life is really wonderful.
Goodnight.
(WOo!!!! Paragraphs!!!)
But what I really want to blog about, is the old man I met in the MRT two days ago.
For more information on the NTU campus concert, you can click here though. :)
And if you're a first-timer here on this blog, and you have no idea what's going on, they summary is that I joined a singing competition, did pretty well in it, chased waterfalls for 2 years and finally with a bestie I befriended during the said competition are now the front(wo)man of a chinese pop group called "the freshman" and have released an album that we hope the world will take to in the way that sugar is to ants. And for more information, please click here.
Its a 100% local album. And I could go on and on self-praising it and telling you support our music and us because that's all we hope for now but... we'll let the music speak for itself for now.
Ok. now that I've got that out of the way, and (i think) I did justice to the human traffic which I also dearly hope to have on our official blog, and the awareness that I hope to bring about for our events, I can now blog about the so-called inconsequential stuff. *phew* Heh. Ready?
I wanted to blog on the official blog, but the rate of my mental laxating would mean that blog posts would keep getting refreshed, and the readers might not see the informative stuff. Well, anyway, its got to give things some space. Oh crap, i'm still rambling and haven't got down to talking about the old uncle.
Well, the story begins with me raising up my head in to a minor commotion that was going on between a lady and a kind-looking old man with a head full of white hair. The lady was suggesting that the old uncle ask me to give up my seat to him. I was aware that my ass was warming the reserved seat and so when I saw the old uncle, I jumped up from my seat in embarrassment apologising profusely for not having noticed him.
"If you give up your seat for me. I will be very sad. It means you think I'm old."
Hello Uncle, but you are old.
"Nono, you are not old, but you are just older. *wide grin*"
"Then why didn't you offer the seat to THAT uncle? *points to a scrawnier looking uncle with equal amount of white fur standing about 2 metres away.*"
Have no answer to that, more embarrassment and guilt, and by now, because of how booming the uncle's voice was, the whole carriage was looking at... not me. But the scrawny old uncle with the equal amount of whites.
I'm sorry, that's not the 重点, i just like to tell stories with narration. I feel it gives a more personal angle to the story.
We started talking, me and the uncle about anything under the sky. He asked me if I was studying, and I said no, and yes, I was working but my work doesn't really pay like a normal job. He asked what I did, and I told him I was a singer, a struggling one but that I enjoyed what I did because I wasn't sure where it would lead but it felt like it might go somewhere.
He asked if I sang on radio stations, and I said no, but we do have an album and our songs do play on the airwaves. He was very kind and said he would keep a lookout for the freshman.
Then he started to talk about how thankful he was for the mrt, that he had been having lunch at the novena foodcourt which has so much variety, and was heading for his appointment at SGH at 3.15pm. He spoke about the mrt, how it made everything so much easier for him and how things would have been different if it wasn't for his friend who pushed through with his proposal to build the mrt system here.
His friend?
He studied in The Chinese High and it was there he had a friend, who grew up and entered a university and became a high flying scholar who was the key figure behind kick starting the mrt project. He spoke about how he himself had been for a poor family, and they couldn't afford to send him to a university, but this friend of his, was a smart chap and did good with uni. He spoke about his friend without a hint of jealousy, but was full of gratitude and praise. (Do you think his friend is the late President Ong Teng Cheong? I didn't get a chance to ask.)
It didn't occur to me then and there, holding on the railing for my life with all my barang barang talking to this chatty old man. But after saying goodbye and telling him to take care, while going up the escalator, I felt so contented. I had learnt so much from just 5 minutes of conversation with a guy in white hair.
His heart of thanks, his independence, his cheerful disposition, and even his love for his wife. He used to stay at Clover place, just a few streets away from my house. It was a nice landed house, but he sold it and moved to Bishan Street 22 because its nearer to the market and his wife has weak legs.
The way he spoke about lunch at Novena, the way he spoke about the mrt, the way he spoke about getting to his appointment at SGH, and how his cornea needed to be operated upon but that it was common amongst old people like him (tot you not old??? :p)
It was a lovely 5 minutes.
And I don't want to forget that moment on the escalator that I felt my eyes grew a little brighter.
Like the way a cup of hot chocolate fills your insides slowly and casually. It wasn't an epiphany of any sort. It wasn't Eureka. It was just, simple joy for the old man who stayed above it all. Who lived with grace, and with a zest for life and the things life presents that many of us cannot even claim to match up to.
It was lovely.
As though I had been sitting at a cafe at some cool European beach, sipping tea and listening to him tell me about the seagulls and the waves. Mundane, but pleasing and enough to make me feel that everything is beautiful and life is really wonderful.
Goodnight.
(WOo!!!! Paragraphs!!!)
Monday, November 08, 2010
This(ese) is(are) a(_) paragraph(s)
When did i start writing in prose? I really don't want to know, and I'm not interested to find out. If the way I blog has changed, I think its probably a good thing considering time doesn't stop and neither has my neurons. Does it bother me though? Yes it does. I'm typing and consciously stopping myself from hitting the enter key after every part of a sentence. Its like I'm forcing myself to re-orientate with the old me.
Every new chapter in life means new changes, every new chapter also means lessons learnt, and new pointers applied. Yet, without fail, in every chapter, we fall and we trip, and we bruise and we bleed, no matter how careful we tried to be. In fact, the more careful we are, the harder we fall because we're so sure we did everything to stop it and yet it still happened the way we prevented it from happening.
Does this mean we don't try to learn from the past mistakes and experiment with new strategies and new outlooks? I guess not. There's no other way to live than by trial and error in faith and with grace.
Discontentment is a choker that keeps us from breathing the fresh air that the plants work so hard at providing. Mistrust is a thorn in my flesh that keeps me from feeling the soft supple petals of life. We believe what we wish to believe, and I'm not talking about the day to day principles or issues, I'm talking about the issues that are deeply embedded in the abyss of our mind.
There's no denying, the self screws with the self. Often, we are our own destruction. Our ego, our insecurities, our disbelief, our lack of confidence in ourselves and the people around us.
It gets tiring, both on our end and for the people around us. I suppose all we can do when we're tired is accept the fact that we're tired for a reason, and that its all about the trying. So get a rest, wake up recharged, re-energised, and ready to be surprised for the wonders tomorrow will bring because if God clothed the flowers in the fields and fed the birds in the sky then he'll definitely provide for the homosapiens that he created in his image, that think and feel, that rule and roam the earth.
We did good today, we did.
Now to rest my head in preparation for tomorrow!
YAHooooooOooooOooooo~!!!!!!
When did i start writing in prose? I really don't want to know, and I'm not interested to find out. If the way I blog has changed, I think its probably a good thing considering time doesn't stop and neither has my neurons. Does it bother me though? Yes it does. I'm typing and consciously stopping myself from hitting the enter key after every part of a sentence. Its like I'm forcing myself to re-orientate with the old me.
Every new chapter in life means new changes, every new chapter also means lessons learnt, and new pointers applied. Yet, without fail, in every chapter, we fall and we trip, and we bruise and we bleed, no matter how careful we tried to be. In fact, the more careful we are, the harder we fall because we're so sure we did everything to stop it and yet it still happened the way we prevented it from happening.
Does this mean we don't try to learn from the past mistakes and experiment with new strategies and new outlooks? I guess not. There's no other way to live than by trial and error in faith and with grace.
Discontentment is a choker that keeps us from breathing the fresh air that the plants work so hard at providing. Mistrust is a thorn in my flesh that keeps me from feeling the soft supple petals of life. We believe what we wish to believe, and I'm not talking about the day to day principles or issues, I'm talking about the issues that are deeply embedded in the abyss of our mind.
There's no denying, the self screws with the self. Often, we are our own destruction. Our ego, our insecurities, our disbelief, our lack of confidence in ourselves and the people around us.
It gets tiring, both on our end and for the people around us. I suppose all we can do when we're tired is accept the fact that we're tired for a reason, and that its all about the trying. So get a rest, wake up recharged, re-energised, and ready to be surprised for the wonders tomorrow will bring because if God clothed the flowers in the fields and fed the birds in the sky then he'll definitely provide for the homosapiens that he created in his image, that think and feel, that rule and roam the earth.
We did good today, we did.
Now to rest my head in preparation for tomorrow!
YAHooooooOooooOooooo~!!!!!!
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Preserved Deck.
Won't play silly games.
Won't be spiteful.
Won't be childish.
Won't dig my own grave and lie in it.
Will be patient and let it be.
After a tired day, one of expectations,
of entertaining, of acting, of emoting...
It was one of those days, I wanted to go home to a hot bath,
and a comforting hug before falling into the crevices of sleep with a smile on my face.
Because I thought I really deserved it.
Do you hear me? I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning 'round
You hold me right here, right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh
Won't play silly games.
Won't be spiteful.
Won't be childish.
Won't dig my own grave and lie in it.
Will be patient and let it be.
After a tired day, one of expectations,
of entertaining, of acting, of emoting...
It was one of those days, I wanted to go home to a hot bath,
and a comforting hug before falling into the crevices of sleep with a smile on my face.
Because I thought I really deserved it.
Do you hear me? I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning 'round
You hold me right here, right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Knights of the Round Table
Growing up to be a knight was no easy task,
we had to go through a rigid education system,
fight to pass our subjects,
and fight to have time enough for ourselves to watch the world change and grow even as we were catching up with our peers in being all-rounded knights of the round table.
The tables were often full,
and knights came and go,
seating positions were as fluid as the streams that flowed through
the beautiful mountainside by the castle.
The castle was one huge playground,
and it was also one cruel battlefield.
Respect was expected, but was not easily earned,
and often sparingly given.
Knights had to fight for their place,
and many nights were lonely nights spent pondering over the purpose of it all.
Knights had to care about and for fellow knights,
while the castle went ahead with its business,
banquets and celebrations went on amidst the dread and gloom of the nagging possibility of a war with the neighboring castles all in the name of glory and honor.
The peasants looked up to the knights and told their children and their children's children that they were to grow up and one day be that soldier in shining armor.
But beneath all that steel and shine,
was real flesh and blood that stood on the front lines of the battle.
Knights were prized possessions,
good table top accessories.
efficient warriors,
the representation of dreams come true,
but also pawns for power and play.
Hierarchy ruled even in the smallest of situations,
but ever so often,
the small knights would find comfort and joy in the wings of the bigger knights,
who looked upon them fondly,
and who better than anyone,
knew that the journey upwards was difficult,
and respected the simple pure notion of wanting to put on the piece of shining armor that weighed a ton upon the still fragile and immature shoulders of the little knights.
Like a stream that flows down the mountains,
like salmons swimming stubbornly against the current,
swimming against each other,
wriggling their slippery selves upon each other and getting to where it was still,
calm and where the water glimmered and shone.
Seated on the table,
dressed in full armor,
sword by the side,
in full attention.
The war that exists within the castle,
and within the confines of the knight's heart,
is one that draws the most amount of blood,
and is the one that means the most.
When this war is over,
and knights of the round table are covered in battle scars,
the war outside no longer scares them,
but excites them.
Like a city on a hill that cannot be hidden,
the knight knows not whether he/she will be the one called worthy to draw the sword out from the stone.
A light that shines,
one that flickers and dims and grows,
but nevertheless... shines.
The flame dies and the flames grows,
just as how wind can extinguish a flame,
but can also create a bonfire out of a small flame,
the knight lives in a time of trepidation,
of fear and of excitement.
Watching with beady eyes,
the shifting of the wind.
And quietly asking God,
for the patience and strength to become a flame that will withstand all winds,
and only grow bigger with each gust.
At this point,
the banquet ended.
And the tables were left empty with debris of glory,
of spilled wine,
of spilled milk,
and of bruised egos.
Till the next time my fellow warriors.
Forget not your roots,
and the people who treated you well.
But forget the thorns,
and the ones who meant you harm.
希望有一天...
我们可以。
我们不忘恩，不负义。
也不再那么无奈...
展开翅膀就有风，
而且也能够帮其他想展翅飞翔的人给予翅膀下的风...
外婆
歌: 周杰伦
作词: 周杰伦 作曲: 周杰伦
今天是外婆生日
我换上复古西装
载着外婆开着拉风的古董车兜兜兜风
车里放着她的最爱
找回属于是她的时代
往大稻埋码头开去
把所有和外公的往事静静回忆
外婆她脸上的涟漪
美丽但藏不住压抑
失去了爱情只盼望亲情
弥补回应
大人们以为出门之前
桌上放六百就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命
赚钱少了关怀有什么意义
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河衅
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
记得去年外婆的生日
表哥带我和外婆参加
她最最重视的颁奖典礼
结果却拿不到半个奖
不知该笑不笑
我对着镜头傻笑
只觉得自己可笑
我难过
却不是因为没有得奖而难过
我失落
是因为看到外婆失落而失落
大人们根本不能体会
表哥他的用心
好像随他们高兴就可以彻底的否定
否定我的作品
决定在于心情
想坚持风格他们就觉得还欧颗
没惊喜没有改变
我已经听了三年
我告诉外婆 我没输 不需要改变
表哥说不要觉得可惜
这只是一场游戏
只要外婆觉得好听
那才是一种鼓励
外婆露出了笑容 说她以我为荣
浅浅的笑容
就让我感到比得奖它还要光荣
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河衅
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河衅
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
Growing up to be a knight was no easy task,
we had to go through a rigid education system,
fight to pass our subjects,
and fight to have time enough for ourselves to watch the world change and grow even as we were catching up with our peers in being all-rounded knights of the round table.
The tables were often full,
and knights came and go,
seating positions were as fluid as the streams that flowed through
the beautiful mountainside by the castle.
The castle was one huge playground,
and it was also one cruel battlefield.
Respect was expected, but was not easily earned,
and often sparingly given.
Knights had to fight for their place,
and many nights were lonely nights spent pondering over the purpose of it all.
Knights had to care about and for fellow knights,
while the castle went ahead with its business,
banquets and celebrations went on amidst the dread and gloom of the nagging possibility of a war with the neighboring castles all in the name of glory and honor.
The peasants looked up to the knights and told their children and their children's children that they were to grow up and one day be that soldier in shining armor.
But beneath all that steel and shine,
was real flesh and blood that stood on the front lines of the battle.
Knights were prized possessions,
good table top accessories.
efficient warriors,
the representation of dreams come true,
but also pawns for power and play.
Hierarchy ruled even in the smallest of situations,
but ever so often,
the small knights would find comfort and joy in the wings of the bigger knights,
who looked upon them fondly,
and who better than anyone,
knew that the journey upwards was difficult,
and respected the simple pure notion of wanting to put on the piece of shining armor that weighed a ton upon the still fragile and immature shoulders of the little knights.
Like a stream that flows down the mountains,
like salmons swimming stubbornly against the current,
swimming against each other,
wriggling their slippery selves upon each other and getting to where it was still,
calm and where the water glimmered and shone.
Seated on the table,
dressed in full armor,
sword by the side,
in full attention.
The war that exists within the castle,
and within the confines of the knight's heart,
is one that draws the most amount of blood,
and is the one that means the most.
When this war is over,
and knights of the round table are covered in battle scars,
the war outside no longer scares them,
but excites them.
Like a city on a hill that cannot be hidden,
the knight knows not whether he/she will be the one called worthy to draw the sword out from the stone.
A light that shines,
one that flickers and dims and grows,
but nevertheless... shines.
The flame dies and the flames grows,
just as how wind can extinguish a flame,
but can also create a bonfire out of a small flame,
the knight lives in a time of trepidation,
of fear and of excitement.
Watching with beady eyes,
the shifting of the wind.
And quietly asking God,
for the patience and strength to become a flame that will withstand all winds,
and only grow bigger with each gust.
At this point,
the banquet ended.
And the tables were left empty with debris of glory,
of spilled wine,
of spilled milk,
and of bruised egos.
Till the next time my fellow warriors.
Forget not your roots,
and the people who treated you well.
But forget the thorns,
and the ones who meant you harm.
希望有一天...
我们可以。
我们不忘恩，不负义。
也不再那么无奈...
展开翅膀就有风，
而且也能够帮其他想展翅飞翔的人给予翅膀下的风...
外婆
歌: 周杰伦
作词: 周杰伦 作曲: 周杰伦
今天是外婆生日
我换上复古西装
载着外婆开着拉风的古董车兜兜兜风
车里放着她的最爱
找回属于是她的时代
往大稻埋码头开去
把所有和外公的往事静静回忆
外婆她脸上的涟漪
美丽但藏不住压抑
失去了爱情只盼望亲情
弥补回应
大人们以为出门之前
桌上放六百就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命
赚钱少了关怀有什么意义
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河衅
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
记得去年外婆的生日
表哥带我和外婆参加
她最最重视的颁奖典礼
结果却拿不到半个奖
不知该笑不笑
我对着镜头傻笑
只觉得自己可笑
我难过
却不是因为没有得奖而难过
我失落
是因为看到外婆失落而失落
大人们根本不能体会
表哥他的用心
好像随他们高兴就可以彻底的否定
否定我的作品
决定在于心情
想坚持风格他们就觉得还欧颗
没惊喜没有改变
我已经听了三年
我告诉外婆 我没输 不需要改变
表哥说不要觉得可惜
这只是一场游戏
只要外婆觉得好听
那才是一种鼓励
外婆露出了笑容 说她以我为荣
浅浅的笑容
就让我感到比得奖它还要光荣
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河衅
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河衅
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
Monday, November 01, 2010
Wong Mama
I love my childhood bestie!
Without her, I would have had a very lonely childhood!
I love reading her emails!
I love her poems!
I love her family!
I love her son!
With brilliant/witty/kind friends like this,
what more can I ask for? Boomz.
Ris Low, you are a genius. Boomz.
this came in as part of an email thread,
where we were sharing about the various stressed up situations we were in... :))
Stressed is spelt with a capital S
Perhaps its God sending us a test
Take it in our stride and move on strong
Life is great if you hum along
With support we can make it thru
In Christ all things we can do!!
- Wong, 2010
I love my childhood bestie!
Without her, I would have had a very lonely childhood!
I love reading her emails!
I love her poems!
I love her family!
I love her son!
With brilliant/witty/kind friends like this,
what more can I ask for? Boomz.
Ris Low, you are a genius. Boomz.
this came in as part of an email thread,
where we were sharing about the various stressed up situations we were in... :))
Stressed is spelt with a capital S
Perhaps its God sending us a test
Take it in our stride and move on strong
Life is great if you hum along
With support we can make it thru
In Christ all things we can do!!
- Wong, 2010
Your toe bigger than my toe
We're no biggies.
We're no stuck-up artistes.
We're blur and not so PR-sensitive but far from being arrogant.
And there are many areas we are still in lack,
and so many toes we still step on unknowingly.
By his grace, we will pull through.
Sorry dear toes,
and here's both my right and left cheeks.
Slap them if you must.
I'll wince, and tear and hurt a little...
but I promise to try hard not to retaliate.
It still hurts when I hear nasty things,
because I truly try to be the best I can,
and often, wanting people to like me,
or agree with me...
is my greatest weakness.
We're really not demanding at all.
And we're so bad at fighting for things.
Just some hospitality,
some respect and a little more understanding if you will.
Impatient to touch the skies,
because I think I can prove a point.
But I don't think I can,
so... must be patient.
:))
We're no biggies.
We're no stuck-up artistes.
We're blur and not so PR-sensitive but far from being arrogant.
And there are many areas we are still in lack,
and so many toes we still step on unknowingly.
By his grace, we will pull through.
Sorry dear toes,
and here's both my right and left cheeks.
Slap them if you must.
I'll wince, and tear and hurt a little...
but I promise to try hard not to retaliate.
It still hurts when I hear nasty things,
because I truly try to be the best I can,
and often, wanting people to like me,
or agree with me...
is my greatest weakness.
We're really not demanding at all.
And we're so bad at fighting for things.
Just some hospitality,
some respect and a little more understanding if you will.
Impatient to touch the skies,
because I think I can prove a point.
But I don't think I can,
so... must be patient.
:))