Do you know what a floater feels like? Something like the orange buoys you see on the surface of the sea that supposedly marks territories in the sea?
Have you ever felt like one? Floating along from one wave crest to another, but always staying at the same spot?
Since primary school, I always knew I was kinda like a floater. I always had best friends, but they changed every year. I had all the friends in the world, the greatest friends ever, I had the talent to attract great hordes of fantastic people whom i absolutely adore, but I never had one person or one group of people whom I stuck with throughout the years of my teenage life. And I think that might be one of my greatest regrets in life.
But I would do anything to go through thick and thin with all these people in my life but its impossible. And people often have their own clique of friends whom they share every moment with, and there are times i feel I'm not in any clique and hence I'm a floater.
But this is not meant to be a depressing post, I'm just taking a small teeny weeny step out on the journey of getting to know myself a little better. Its not that "floating" is a bad thing, I don't touch and go on friendships. I give you my all. I would DIE for you. Someone once told me that I would probably be a better friend than i would be a girlfriend or a wife. Maybe that's true. Haha...
Anyway, its just that recently I think I've had to face alot of adult issues which I've been avoiding for almost all my life. I mean, don't we all just want to sing and be happy? Ok, maybe not sing. But in my case, yes, SING and be HAPPY.
Well, its harder than it sounds. And for a while now, ever since the competition, I think I've just been floating along from one peak to a low to another peak but at the end of the day still staying at the same position.
I want to move, but I can't seem to figure out the right steps to take in cutting the rope that binds me to the seabed. I need to cut it right so i don't just drift off aimlessly... and in the very first place, I need to have the courage to cut that rope and take the risk.
Oh, this is so tough. No wonder Peter Pan never wanted to grow up.
Anyway, this is random... but I love this song since i was a kid.
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
3 comments:
Stay anchored in Him and rest assured in the fact that you will be okay no matter where you might float to.
Enjoy the journey and what it brings you. Jiayou!
hihi, I think I kinda understand how you feel about being a floater. Sometimes, I'll feel this way too. But thinking again, this is not really floating. Real floaters are those who tries to mingle around but people still fail/ don't bother to notice you. Just like how we'll usually neglect the buoys in the sea. Yup, and tho I duno you personally but I'm pretty sure you aren't a buoy =) but if you really 'insist' on being one, make sure you aren't the normal orange buoy, be a unique one! Only then, can people continue to notice you =P
And yes dealing with adult issues is tough, scary, complicated. Though I haven come across much yet, but seeing people ard me dealing with them, it creeps. I can't share much on this except to tell you to JIAYOU!!
i hear your graduation work is quite cool. perhaps that's where your greater talent lies? perhaps that's where you get to swim, and go somewhere? perhaps your love for music might just serve you better there?
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