回到最初的那快乐

So many things at this junction of my life that I can be worrying about and crying foul over. My lack of emergency, my lack of talent, my lack of opportunities, my lack of money, my lack of success, my lack of sleep, my lack of exercise, my lack of freedom, my lack of... happiness?

Well, while we continually age, mature and move on in life, and time deals us different scenarios, different obstacles to overcome the root of happiness is in contentment which lasts all ages, through time, through space, through life.

Not such an easily grasped concept, I'm not a good example. Yet.

Contentment comes and goes, just as how happiness come and goes.

A good good old time(never change over the years) friend of mine asked me just now if I was happy doing what I was doing. If you guys don't know by now, it means pursuing a dream that has no guarantee, having no stable income, having no CPF, having no medical coverage(which means I better not fall sick).

I told her, yeah some days I'm happy some days I'm not. But I'm doing this because I like to do it and I only have now to try for. I don't want to live a life regretting not taking this wilful step.

Why some days happy only?

Cause somedays I'm contented telling myself I've tried my best, gone so far, had so many chances, met so many great people, learnt so much.

Other days I feel sucky, lazy, un-talented, old and useless and unhealthy.

Haha, anyone feel the same?

There are so many aspects of my life I need to get back on track and the more I don't do that, the more reasons there are for discontentment. I know the reasons for discontentment so why issit I don't get down to the root of the problem and solve it?

Well I'm gonna try.

I'm gonna try and go back to when I lived with a child-like faith, a child-like perseverance and a child-like fairytale belief that as long as I did my best, God would do the rest. =)

But first, I have to do my best.

I wish all of you Peace, Joy and Happiness!
(haha. To my fellow SCI mates who know what in the world I'm laughing about now. )



On a seperate note,

I didn't make it to NYGH homecoming 2009, but I did manage to catch up with a few peeps at KAP after the dinner. I feel like I'm stuck in JC and they've all moved on with their lives but its amazing and beautiful to watch these crazy girls I knew in secondary school move on to become beautiful women.

Some of them I don't know well at all. But I'm glad I got a chance to send “爱美丽” home. The short journey home was too short for a heart to heart talk. But I think it left me with alot of nostalgia and thoughts hanging in the air.

Maybe as we grow older, we rationalise too much. I've always been someone who followed my heart. It takes alot of concious effort for my brain to rationalise things. But it seems not being able to rationalise has left me blissfully ignorant of too many things. I guess I need to find a balance.

I'm a LIBRA-ian (couldn't figure out how to spell that correctly. It just ended up looking like librarian.)

I balance things.

Let's hope I do a good balance with my life. =)


Wishlist:
A bunch of fun-loving and like-minded, music-loving people who will gather at my house week after week churning out fun-loving songs. I need more than 3. For some reason, 人来风 diya only gets creative when there's more than 3 people around. The more the merrier actually. =)