Till I see you


I am not a Ashin fan.

I need the book "Artiste Etiquette" if it is ever published.

I did not read the article.

My protective friends kept the words away from me but told me what they thought I could take.

I almost once wanted to be a reporter.

I've never once knowingly hurt anyone.

If one day I wielded a pen, I could use it to stab or to defend,

That is, after making an informed decision.

Anonymity is not the priviledge slander.

Anonymity, if used well can actually be for the general good.

黑玫瑰(the real one in history.) was a heroine who stole from the rich to give to the poor.

Its one thing for people who know nothing about a person to bitch,

Its another for a friend to bitch.

Its one thing for the ill-informed to bitch,

its another for someone who holds the keys to so many things, and has probably graduated with honours from some journalism course to swing the course of things with an intent to hurt.

I'm hurt. I really am.

But now that you've given me a tight slap on my left cheek, and persecuted me left, right, up, down and centre for something like this when there are artistes out there toying exploiting their status to cheat and to dishonour music. You expect me to say "ok, noted. Repented." ??

I didn't do anything with the intent to hurt, and I know at the gate of heaven. I can still walk in with my head high in the sky. I may bleed, I may bruise. But my heart is clean, pure.

I ever once thought of being a journalist.

But now shudder at the thought of how powerful words can be, when used to hurt.

You could have written it in my defence, but you went ahead with the naysayers and wrote the lines that could cut and cause open wounds.

What a tough lesson this has been for me.

My wounds will heal, and the cuts will close up.

And then I'll say...

"here's my right cheek. take it, you pharisee."

Keep your spirits up diya. 我也廷你 ... !

Until the day worldly pain ceases to exist,
my prayer is that I'll do more than just survive.
I'm not a survivor.
I'm a fighter.