Teardrops

you're lucky to receive.
you're happy to give.

Which is worse?

To be denied the chance to give,
or to have to give without getting anything in return?

Will I be able to transform these tears,
into strongholds of courage,
into visions of the future,
into streams of inspirations that refreshes the lives of many,
into hopes, dreams, and beliefs fulfilled.

That one day, you'll begin to see and appreciate these tears shed on account of you.

Because you were once so loved, and treasured.
And as these tears formed a moat around your castle,
it kept you from coming out.
But it kept bad things from going in as well.
But its ok,
there will always be a wooden walkway that you
can let down for you to ride your chariots out with into the world...

These tears, are not tears of weakness.
Do not judge them by how deep the moat goes,
because from the fullness of love,
comes the depths of protection.

I must learn to be proud of my tears.
Every precious drop.
For they are not that easily shed.
Each teardrop represents a portion of my soul which was touched.
The deepest purest part of me.
A distillation of that emotion, in its most natural, most beautiful state.

For some he gave words,
for some he gave physical strength,
for the flower he gave thorns,
for the skunk he gave terrible odour.
For me, tears.

Joyful ones, Sad ones, Angry ones,
The graceful ones that stream down continuously and hit the floor with a splash,
The prideful ones that stay swimming in the crevice of my eyelids trying their best to swim against the flow of gravity.
The playful ones that decide to exit via my nose.
The lost ones that sometimes end up in my mouth.
The ones that assume leadership positions and where they go,
throngs of mucus follow.

The ones that stay on my pillow.
Those that stay in my heart.
Those that stay in the minds of my friends.
Those that only the Lord sees.

So, I cry freely.
And I love freely.
And I hope freely.
And I wait freely.
And I smile freely.

I once said to Mono during a rainy day in the car...
"this is how my world looks, when I cry."
and that day, I was crying.
I miss mono.