Vertigo

Its all calm, bright and cheery.
You walk through lush greenery,
soft moss under your bare feet.
The warm evening sun on your bare skin...
there's a gentle breeze that blows and ruffles your hair...
its as good as it gets.

And suddenly you fall.
Its a sudden but deep fall.
You close your eyes and you brace yourself for the impending contact,
and before you know it,
you're just floating in the mid-air,
somewhere between the darkness that looms at the bottom,
and the sunlight that beckons at the top.

My heart's been experiencing such sudden drops.
nothing serious.
But its like a monster vacuum sucked it up for a second,
tasted it, didn't sit well with its bittersweet taste,
and spat it out.

pui.

I'll be singing, laughing along.
And suddenly there's a silent 'whoosh'.
Like how you wake up in the middle of the night because it felt as though you were free falling.
Minus the shock.

And then it takes time to get back up to "as good as it gets" forest again.

We shouldn't tread through the forest,
constantly worrying about these potholes that ambush us...
And yet there's no way our mind,
will allow us to naively,
innocently walk on without constantly sweeping the ground for holes.

But here's the real deal.
You're vigilant.
And you're always on your tip toes.
And you keep your eyes on the ground.
But that means you really have no time to look at the things,
the beautiful things that God has built up around you,
and provided for your enjoyment, for your appreciation.
And here's the saddest part.
No matter how vigilant you are.
The drop will always come,
at that precise moment that you're not looking down.

When you least expect it.

The thoughts come by in a flash,
the images move like a stop motion film.
Focusing, Re-focusing, Zooming in.
and then BOOMZ.

Fall down liao...

So how?
Get up again lor.
Continue walking on...
nurse the jitters in your heart,
catch your breath for a moment.
but don't stop breathing.
don't stop that feeling.