Backstage Pass

I weaved a cocoon around myself to protect myself from all the hurt that was built up around me.
I thought it would keep me safe,
and give me time to blossom, to heal and to prepare myself for the day I would spread those wings.

I set up a safety fence around me to hide the things I didn't want to see,
but that fence kept important things and people out of my yard as well.

Because I believed, I truly did.
That by protecting myself,
I was doing myself good.
Tired of always trying to keep the door open,
to reply those SMS-es that mean something and yet nothing at all.
Tired of trying to make someone else happy,
while the glue on my heart still hasn't dried up yet.

Because I thought metamorphosis really would happen.

Today I took a little step out of the cocoon.
And I realised, the sun still shines bright.
And right outside the cocoon, sat a little yellow shiny bee.
buzzing around happy as can be.

As small as the heart is,
it compartmentalizes so many different emotions and memories,
hiding them away in a safe, that even the greatest inceptionists cannot lay their stinky hands on.
But as much baggage I may have, or as many cracks as it may seem the heart has to withstand,
I don't know about you.
But I believe God gave me a big heart.
And there's space for you.

I'm not good with silly billy mishy mashy words.
And this blog isn't the place for these words either...

Its a window to my soul.
But the key lies deep within me.
And only a chosen few, have backstage passes.

And some have made a mess of the backstage,
while others have helped clean up the mess.

Some still have stuff in the lockers.
I took a peek into one of the lockers today.
It still hurt a little, but nothing I can't handle.
Hooray!

:)

3 months went by, not in a flash. But it seems I survived.
This post and this song marked a turning point somewhere.
Once again thank you James for playing the piano so well, I allowed myself to dive deep into those emotions and freely I sang, not pitch perfect but in the most natural state of expression.

Dee's cover of《心酸》- 林宥嘉



As a sidenote: here's a link. I'm just putting it here because I want it to appear on google search! So from now on, after every post. I am going to spam link! 插班生 the freshman