Forever Fever my Mother and Father

I remember asking my mum how is it that two such different people could stay together. One who nagged and fret and worried over every little household issue and the other who hardly said a word and often shrugged off the same issues the other felt worth creating wrinkles over.

I hear the same stories over and over again, how my mum spent nights crying the pillow wet in sadness and tiredness, how she often felt that my Dad wasn't home enough but she had to be understanding knowing he had work and had a devout commitment to church activities as well. She was angry and upset but she kept it together, no matter how difficult it was.

She would pick fights, and she would show her unhappiness, but she never once mentioned the word "divorce", no matter how unhappy and how bleak things seemed, because she remembered the vows that they made at the altar, and how he had taken care of her younger siblings when he was at her house. Back then, she had known that he would be a good father, a good husband.

My dad on the other hand, kept his optimism, never broke into a frown, and more than often hardly uttered an extra word. He just listened and let my mother rant, sometimes breaking into a chuckle (which would exasperate her more) at certain sweeping statements that she might throw out in anger. He too, never mentioned the word "divorce", no matter how tired his ear drums might be, how much he wanted to hit the sacks after a full day's work and worship practices in church. He never blew his top, or ever hinted at wanting a "divorce".

My mum always says that alot of effort went into making the marriage work. And had there been one incident where any of them had mentioned getting a "divorce", in the spur of the moment... things might have been different.

I've always wondered, how is it my mum can go on non-stop even when my Dad hardly gives a proper verbal response. After that thought, I move on to marvel at how my Dad can keep listening to the same stories with a slight smile and not a tinge of impatience for so many years. If you separate the two, you'd think my mum talks too much, and my Dad is too quiet.

Truth is, my mum likes to read, and ponder about things in silence.

And my dad loves a crowd and a bottle of wine, laughing heartily and throwing out silly remarks and jokes.

How they come together to form this weird team of tag I don't know. But I know this is a team, that is set to run the long race together forever, not without commitment, not without a dogged pursuit to provide a conducive environment for me and my brother, and not without amazing effort, tears, and the occasional gritting of teeth.

Why are there so many divorce cases these days? I'm nobody to judge, because there can be so many issues that present itself unsolvable, and times have changed so much and people now have so many choices and so many different means to ends. Its a new world, a changed world with advanced mindsets.

Maybe I'm too slow, or I'm too simple, or in nastier terms, I'm too naive and stupid. But I think the same rules apply, to keep two in unity. Whether its marriage, a partnership or just besties. There's bound to be the ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups, but ... 朋友也没有永远要好... each will have their respective periods of negativity, discomfort or just suddenly no longer finding that person interesting. In our time of "Live like there's no tomorrow" we make our decisions on the spot.

Ok, discomfort. NEXT!
Uh, this doesn't make me feel good. NEXT!
Hey, this is fun. GO!
Shucks, this person's getting on my nerves. NEXT!

But there is a tomorrow, isn't it?
Is it about sprinting, or about the long race?

It took my parents years to get to this stage, where they know now that this is the person who can take all my shit and nonsense for the rest of the journey having already gone through so much of my nonsense and being there for me during the worst chapters of my life.

These days, we don't count the years anymore. We count the days.
We keep believing 2012 is the end. Or that planning ahead makes no sense since end days are probably, PROBABLY in our generation. (I'm not sure about you, but often I think that I probably won't live to see my grandchildren, so what's the point?)

But it says in the bible :

1 Thessalonians 5:1
"Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. "

Acts 1:7
"He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority."

Revelation 16:15
"Behold, I come like a thief! Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed."

I guess, the best way... to is to plan the years and the lifetime you have gifted to you because each and everyone of us were made unique and different from each other for a purpose. NO matter how small or big, a purpose to live is a purpose to live. You have a reason for being here today, and you have to find out. Live your life with a VISION of the future, but live each day to the fullest as well.

I suppose. I suppose, that is the best way to live. For Christians and non-Christians alike.

It really isn't easy. But I'm in this for the FOREVER.
FOR EVERything, good and bad.

If two people like my parents made it work.
I don't see why we can't.
Simple, stupid, naive, you name it, I've got it.

:P

Oh, and lots of love. Lots and lots of love.
Please grant me a big heart, a bigger heart, a double portion of a big heart.
And if possible, less tears?
Thanks.

Oh and happy days. Oh Happy days. :)))
Oh ok, since I'm in the greedy mood, wisdom to unlock knowledge, to see and feel, to hear and understand, to empathise, to believe, to persist, to fight, to be patient, to be generous, to be abundant.

And.... to sleep like a child.

(food for thought: Why is it that when people sleep at abnormal timings, we say they sleep at 'ungodly hours'? I mean, really. I don't think God needs to sleep. So what's so ungodly about that hour? Just wondering.)