"Nobody knows where they might end up. "

We live in an era where dreams do come true and everyone has latent potential waiting to be realised and harvested.

Perhaps its true I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Perhaps its crazy the decisions I make these days. I can't deny it and I never once denied being blessed, and being loved.

I am not irresponsible, but I am trying to find a balance between living up to my responsibilities and going on a path that is fearsome but is one that I'd nervously but excitedly take a leap into.

Looking for recognition, that has always been one of my weaknesses. Looking to my mother for approval, crying over disapproval, taking careless words too seriously. For the longest time, I let it take over my everything, control my emotions, dictate my performance. I took pride in that, because I become so damn creative and interesting and adventurous when I'm at the peak of exuberance and joy.

So I kept it the way it was. Allowing my days to be ruled by my heart.

I don't intend to change it. Because following my heart is exactly what got me to where I am today, and honestly speaking, there is nothing to regret. I look back and I see a path that had its fair share of naysayers and of the hands that caught me when I fell on the thorn-infested path but I also see a path that was paved by the Lord. His hands.

The road ahead scares me. But the people I meet, and the people who believe in me to take on my silly fantasies is like a open door waiting for me to discover.

To be more achieving, but not having my achievements calculated by the ruler we are all so used to having is going to be the most challenging hurdle that this heart will have to go through in this period of time.

How do I insist on this with faith, but not in self-defence or denial.
How will I carry on under judgement with a smile on my face and glide in my step.

Right now, only time can tell.

And as much as expectation killed the dog.
I expect the people around me to support me unconditionally.
Remember, when I'm happy. I'm lovely as a button.

Stay happy dear me. :)