Melt Down

I had to come back here, I couldn't pollute ChabanSheng's energetic, positive website with my dark and molten thoughts.

I'm not being a kid.

I'm not staying home and throwing a tantrum in order to get some attention from my parents.

I'm being a kid,

because I can't seem to figure these adult issues of life out.

I'm a kid,

because I still want to continue this path in life.

You won't and can't claim to understand,

and it's too cliche to repeat sob stories about how difficult it is being a singer.

But right now, I feel too inadequate.

Too inadequate to be around people,

to have people lower their living costs for me,

to have people whisper about their holiday plans and their expensive dreams around me...

I'd rather not be the party pooper,

or that wet blanket...

so I guess these days,

I'll stay home.

I'll bugger off.

And stay out of your lives,

so I can figure out mine.

I wrote this today,

I had nothing else to say...

"Lord, if you don't help me, no one else will do."

Gravity's got the sides of my lips down,

but my heart's still thumping and jumping with hope...

and trusting in the Father to keep me rooted and strong.

So tired of this world,

the grievances of others.

And the need to push away other people for these grievances to go away.

What became of us?